I woke up depressed! I didn’t quite realize it then. Throughout the morning I felt sad, this one patriotic song from swadesh kept playing in my head and I felt like going on a long drive …clear signs of depression! Then it hit me that it is my jan 26th syndrome when I start missing my Swadesh.

It is 4 years since our move here and every year I have gone through this mania (it doesn’t last too long either, just a day or two so nothing to worry about here). My eyes fill with tears each time our National Anthem is played. There are times when I painfully long to be back, to be driving through those potholed roads. The food! ayyo…it kills me to think about the dhabbas and the sweetshops and the ganna juice and puchkawallas!

I am no saint… I do notice and am sometimes repulsed by the filth, open sewers, the stink, spit on the walls, lack of hygiene, the lack of etiquette, poverty, fraud, skewed growth, rudeness, the rapes, the child molesters, child marriages, wife beaters… But I understand that we have a long way to go before changes can be seen. For now I dare to repeat here what some of my fellow swadesis would say about all the unmentionables “We are like this only!”. I have learned to look beyond that collective dirt and take pride in “simbly” being an Indian.

These songs will keep playing on Youtube the whole day today and I will be carrying around a tissue.

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