Indian moms are a different breed all together. We belong to a lot that can never feel satisfied; if the child comes home with a 95% then first response would be ” who came first?”, If he got a 100% the question would be ” How many got full marks?”, if he is the only one with a 100% then the mom would want to know who came second and how much he scored so as to maintain that gap.
I just got back from a moms lunch, where 10-12 moms spent an afternoon trashing their school, exchanging notes on teachers, on math levels etc.. It was interesting and probably a little scary to see that most of us shared the same frustrations and angst and that few hours we should have taken to enjoy and chill out ended with more white hairs added to our prematurely graying head.
In school there are moms who hang around the whole day, most of the moms visit the school (in spite of the distance and Jakarta’s notorious traffic) at least once a week. I remember, back in my schooldays moms would be called in twice a year for the PTA meeting, many of our dads have never even stepped inside the compound!
The main conversation topic even between me and my husband is the kids, analyzing every behaviour, relishing every word they say, comparing each of them. On his return from a business trip, instead of melting into each others arms in heated passion, the night is spent filling him on he said/did she said/did…
So is all this attention that we give the kids good or bad? Is this constant vigil needed? Are we spoiling them with all this attention? Are we snatching away their innocence by our constant adult presence? How many over achievers does this world need anyway? With the heavy doses of ambition that we give our little girls who will be left behind to paly Dragon moms to the next generation of kids?